on binary I, the spires caretakers are supposed to be carpathia (overseer) and enlejun (sentinel born as shaoming). shaoming was appointed as sentinel at a very young age. young enough that his clan thought it would be best to try and train and groom him into success before he took the appointment (he was around 9 when he was nominated). shaoming was basically a young child being forced into adulthood way too quickly. it ended up backlashing because shaoming despised having all of his life and childhood being thrown into being trained to act as a sentinel the elders expected him to be.

carpathia is a very invested overseer. if xute is considered reticent, carpathia would be considered overbearing. as an unknowing enabler, she would give good omens and blessings to communicate approval to the elders for being so invested in the spires care. it became a cycle of shaoming feeling more and more repressed while carpathia and the elders would encourage each other. it came to a head a week before shaoming was supposed to take up his appointment. he ended up fleeing the main clan in fear. the elders spited him for his lack of commitment despite everything they did for him. however, carpathia didnt vocalize her disappointment to shaoming, nor did she give a hint of her feelings by omen or blessing to the elders. she was disappointed but she really wanted shaoming to only care for the spire because he genuinely wanted to. she was already too emotionally invested in shaoming that when the elders prayed for a new sentinel, she refused. it was entirely because she had grown to care for shaoming as a mother would. as of right now, she is trying to make up the loss of a physical caretaker for the spire by overcompensating the spiritual portion of an overseers duty. her overfeeding of the spire is a contributing cause to the rising oxygen levels and eco blooms on binary I. she is convinced that one day, shaoming will take his mantle of enlejun and come back to his duties. shaoming currently wanders, trying to enjoy his newfound life but he finds himself so overwhelmingly wracked with guilt he finds it hard to enjoy his freedom.

narrative commentary: shaoming represents the paralyzing feeling of guilt you get when you first begin choosing yourself. sometimes you may not hate the people who take (whether knowingly or not) advantage of someone who suffers from people pleasing; sometimes it may be people you love and care for. the guilt especially hurts when it causes disappointment rather than anger. however, shaoming isnt truly living for himself if hes constantly wracked with this guilt. shaoming needs to move on but chooses not to for a lot of reasons: filial piety, the pressure of duty/responsibility, disappointing loved ones, and caring too much about how others would view him for finalizing his abandonment.